What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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