I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
