I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
