My boss' voice literally gives me gas
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
