We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
