Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize