Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
