but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
