I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
