The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
