if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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