So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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