My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize