Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
