haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
