i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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