he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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