He uses pillows to masturbate.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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