that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
