Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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