even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
