just come out here and I will go home with you...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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