i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
