so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
