i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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