I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
