Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
