so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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