UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
