Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
