I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
