Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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