hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize