It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Bring me that man meat
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
