she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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