I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
