Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
