...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
