Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
