My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
