I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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