Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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