I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
