so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
