I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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