I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
