its not stalking. its research.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm at about main and main street
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
