So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
