i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
