They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
