Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
