well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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