i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
