is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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