going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
