There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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