Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
