did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
