Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
