the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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