Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize