you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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